Howdy!
My time in Germany, and outside of Germany, has gone by so quickly. I have loved every moment here and I have learned even more. Before leaving for Germany many people warned me that Germans were rude and not very personable. This has been the opposite of my experience here, with everyone being more than welcoming and even kindly switching over to English for me.
One of the most surprising things I have had to get used to are the habits my host mom practices in her home. From the very begging of my stay I have offered to load my dishes in the dish washer after meals, but she has told me no. It took a couple times of me asking this before she told me that she really doesn't need me to load them. This was something I should have understood because I had been warned of the Germans frankness, but it felt so out of line for me I had a hard time excepting it. It still does feel very weird for me to enjoy a meal that she has cooked by herself and then also watch her do all of the cleaning. She also does not share many meal times with me. She always asks me if I will enjoy the meal she is preparing to serve and what time I would like to have dinner. Having a communal meal is something that is valued in my family, and I believe many other Americans house holds. Eating alone is not foreign to me, but it is deferentially something I have had to get used to doing more often. Overall it has been a hard adjustment living with someone and feeling like I am purely a burden and not being able to contribute anything useful to the household. However I believe this is how she wants her household to run and this is what she is used to. This experience has been very different compared to how I grew up and has shifted my point of view on the ways different families function.
Living with a family that is not my own has been a very new and interesting experience which I am so thankful to have had. Living in this new environment has changed my point of view on how a family dynamic should be. Although I am not as much of an active part of the household as I am use to, that does not mean I am a burden to the household. She has been so welcoming and caring during my stay here in Bonn and I am so thankful for her hospitality.
I agree with you in the sense that it feels a little strange to feel like a rat in someone's attic and just allow them to do everything for you. Although it was difficult for me to adjust to that as well, even though I did not eat meals with my host mom, it was nice to sit at the table and have conversations with her while she was working. I felt those were great times to catch up or have her ask the classic German borderline-inappropriate questions. It. changed my perspective on germans as well, the homestay was a very cool experiance.
ReplyDeleteComing on this study abroad I was worried about feeling like a burden to my host family, but luckily I was able to feel the complete opposite. It's so interesting to me how the relationship you have with your host family can truly shape your experience here and even shift your perspective on Germans. I feel bad that you didn't get quite the experience you wanted with yours, but it does make me think how things would go if it were the other way around. Would a family in the U.S. always involve their exchange student or no? Would they let the student contribute to the household like you wanted to, or would they even think it rude if they were offered no help? These different interactions make me think about how I would act in the role of the host family, because I know there are definitely things from my own family that are so different to the dynamics people share with theirs. It's like how when I visit a friends house, I find it very hard if they always keep shoes on in the house, as this is not normal in my household. I've even had people visit my house and not offer or even try to help clean up after a meal, which I found so rude! It's weird how different cultures can be, especially since this was something your host mom felt wasn't necessary at all! It's so interesting, but I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your experience regardless.
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